1. |
Still Doing It
01:34
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Get on your knees and beg, beg for your life.
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2. |
Save the Worst for Last
04:11
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I know you’re scared. I wish that I could tell you that this will all be over before you know it, but sadly that’s not the case. This is not a passing phase. I know what you’re thinking; you’re wondering how this came to be. Finding it hard to stomach that someone who said they loved you could do this to you. I wonder these same things. I know you’re scared. I wish that I could tell you that this will all be over soon - but it won’t. It’s best that you can’t see. At least now you can pretend that it’s all a fucking dream, or that you’re already dead. I know you’re sorry, but sorry doesn’t cut it. Not this time – no. I find it so ironic how this came to be. If you could move you’d probably run, but where would you run to? Who would understand your incomprehensible gurgles? Who would decipher your scribbles? If only you had more digits. They will find you hanging from the overpass.
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3. |
Handshaker
05:42
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Our story goes back thousands of years. The classic tale of the unrequited; the unconsummated; the betrayed. This is beyond physical. This is beyond faith. I could drown you in a thousand oceans. I could watch you carve your apologies into your skin for eternity. I could watch you pity yourself forever. But that won't change a fucking thing. No it won't change a mother fucking thing. You’ve made a bitter creature of malcontent out of me. I've bred something so much worse. I'll never forgive and I'll never forget. I’ll watch your friends turn their backs on you. I’ll watch you never find love. I will watch you starve yourself for attention. I’ll watch your disease kill you young. I will go to your wake. I’ll go to your funeral, and I won’t shed a single fucking tear. No I won't. I won’t give a single fucking care. So if you think about it, it’s not so crazy how you wound up here; right in this chair. Now you have plenty of time to spare. To think how much I used to care… now I just don’t fucking care.
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4. |
Summer
04:16
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From adolescence, pubescence, young adulthood; functioning grown-up – you’ve fucked up everything. No matter how right, not matter how strong, no matter how long I go on; it’s just not up to me. Some things are just not meant to be, no matter how much they deceive. This is the punishment I receive, for being “the rock that’s centers me.” The explosions in the sky left a permanent spot my eye. This new vue rewards me with no lessons. And my life was greater before you were in it. I filled the hole in your heart. I filled the hole between your legs, but there will be no one to fill the hole I want to leave in your fucking head. Dump more poison in your face. Show me how you’re such a disgrace. Tell me how that stripper’s ass tastes, and I hope your pity yourself forever.
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5. |
Suck a Dick
04:33
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And to think I was offended when my friend called you a slam pig. Try and try, I’ve lived my life by a lie. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that I’ve learned nothing. I was threading the needle, I played my cards just right, and tried with all my might. Some things are not meant to be. They’re not up to me. Tell me how you’re messed up. Go ahead; tell me how you’re sick. Tell me how you need my help. Tell me I mean so much to you, then go suck a dick. That’s all you’re good for. Look what you’ve done. I can’t believe my eyes. Find some fucking douchebag to jam his cock in your fucking garbage hole. Swallow his fucking load. You fucking whore. That’s all you’re good for. Use him for all he’s got. Make him think you’re special; you’re unique; you’re too good to pass up. There’s more to you than meets the eye – don’t look away. Look me right in the eye. I want to see right into your soul until you die.
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6. |
The Riverside Rapist
04:45
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I was on the verge of something. Something big. Bigger than you; bigger than I. Transcendence one could only dream of. Every night. Every heavy step of the way you keep me trudging away for miles and days. At this suicidal pace. I remember every single face. Every bitter word spoken, and every single fucking place. Pages and pages of this disgrace. Looking back I’m so fucking disgusted. I’ve walked the line so many times; waiving self-respect and dignity. Twenty five years and I’m tired. Twenty five years and I’m still just a fool. Twenty five years and I’m fucking exhausted. Beaten, carved, burnt, poisoned. Take back every lesson that you ever taught to me. I’d rather have nothing than any of this. In this case, ignorance is bliss. Now I, I’ve become completely numb; blind, deaf, and dumb. I’ve worn away. Everything I know has decayed. I count the days since when we last exchanged anything worth remembering. And I can recall nothing. All I see is black.
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7. |
KFBR392
04:34
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8. |
Herschel Walker
04:02
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I cut your fucking tongue right out of your trashy fucking mouth. After all I’ve given to you, all of you. Somehow I have bred and ignorant ungrateful whore. A charlatan of the mind and soul. You've bred something so much worse. No reconciliation. No catharsis. No amount of words or time can undo what you've done. I will never get back what you have taken from me. My life was greater before you were ever in it. No amount of screaming, crying, or bloodshed can ever change that. Even if I kill you the memory will always be there. You will forever be in my unrepayable debt. Your life and suffering won’t even be enough. Your worthless fucking breathing. The more I think the more insane I become. I could injure you and cauterize the wounds; I could bring you to martyrdom. I could fucking skin you alive and bathe you in bleach. What’s done is done and can’t be undone. This is my burden to bear. Your life ends in this chair. I must go on, and live with this bane.
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9. |
Skin Deep Life
04:21
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Just when I thought I’ve had enough, you came to drag me down further. So much further. In a world that gives us everything, you're dealing nothingness. You have nothing inside you but contempt. Liar. Whore. Fucking cunt. Manipulative wench; I don’t even know you and I never did. No one even knows you, and no one deserves to. You’re fucking poison. Your insides are black. A life sucking demon disguised with a pretty face. Your beauty fucking disgusts me, you vile treacherous trashy fuck. You’re good for one thing and one thing only. Now get on your fucking knees just like you’re used to you sick piece of shit. You’re a sick piece of shit, with no spine, and no soul. I can’t wait to see your insides. I just want to see your insides.
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10. |
The Manroe Incident
04:39
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I can’t believe I’ve been chasing you all my life. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’ve made myself a fucking victim. I’m weak; I’m shallow; a shell of a man. I let a pretty face, a crooked smile, empty promise do me in. The same mistake again and again. Fuck you, I’m not afraid of you. I’m stronger than you, and I will destroy you. I will wrap this rope around your neck. I’ll pull it tight, tighter than I’ve ever held you; any of you. Your fair skin grows paler with each lost breath. Pale turns to blue. Blue fades to black. How can I live without you? How can I live knowing you still exist? I possess the strength within myself to kill or forgive. Kill or let live. Kill or let you live? My tongue is fire; my breath is nerve gas. I could murder you with a word. Just one more word, then your life is over. Take the world with your legs spread wide open like you’re used to. Take your fate with your legs spread wide open like you’re used to. Accept the end with your legs spread wide open like you’re used to. End your life with your legs spread wide open like you're used to.
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11. |
Too Brutal for Herkimer
05:00
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I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ve got you tied up in this chair maimed in my basement looking for some kind of reconciliation. All I have are my memories, terrible wretched memories. Violent heartbreaking memories. I slowly go insane. I fail at trying to regain. This is out of hand. You convinced me to let you in. I gave way to your charms; your kind words and bashful stares. Who would have thought that later on I’d be putting a razor blade to those beautiful star gazers? Pathological, addicted, deviant, selfish; your insides are black. Tell me everything I want to hear. Lie to me. It’s all you know. You know my weaknesses; you have a key to the backdoor. I handed over all the instruments to my destruction and I trusted you to lock them away and never use them. Consequence of conscience. You said I have “too many mind.” You kept me running until the very end; I should have listened to my head. Surround yourself with worthlessness.
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12. |
Charlatan
05:13
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Your blood runs thin as your skin turns cold. I was not prepared to keep you alive this long. You’ve wasted so much of my young life; I find it only fair to squander the last few hours of yours. The sun will be up soon and the deed must be done before the world wakes up. I’ve learned so much about you over the years. I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve shown you the world and you’ve shown me so much ugliness. You’re disgusting. You’ve shown me hopelessness, shame, and regret; you've shown me debauchery, lies, and deceit. All the good you’ve brought to me is shadowed by your fucking disease. There’s no cure for what you have. You’re a mistake, and I need to do the world a favor and make you an example. What I would give to just plunge my fucking thumbs into your pretty fucking eyes. To strike my palm into your goddamn cheek bone over and over, until your face is nothing but an unrecognizable mess of bone, brains, muscle, and teeth. You are the worst disease, and you make me fucking sick. I hate myself for trusting you. No one should ever love you. I trusted you. You disgust me, and your insides are black. You have nothing, and your insides are black.
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13. |
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You show your fucking cunt to everyone. You tell your stories to everyone. You use everyone. You’re a true whore in every conceivable way. I grew up thinking you were to be sought after. Every time I visited you, I felt as though I were in a hall of giants; daunting and unfathomable. You were the key to salvation; the meaning of life. Just so you know, there is nothing beautiful about this. No one will hear the noise from upstairs. This is personal; this is intentional. This is grief, sadness, jealousy, selfishness, resent, disgust, and contempt, and vengeance all wrapped into one. Your family, your friends, your colleagues, and your neighbors; everyone that you know. They’ll all see you on display. Spread out on the main road in the town that we both know. We have such a wealth of history; it hurts to think about it. I hate to do this but I feel like I fucking need to. You won’t see me and I can’t see you.
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14. |
Another Worthless Orchid
05:08
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This has taken so much out of me, I need reprieve. I need relief from this release. The birds are out and it’s time to leave. The sun looks brighter than it ever has, every breath of air feels fresher than the last. Your stench ruins this beautiful morning. Your disgusting, dismembered, mangled figure taints an otherwise perfect scene as I drag you through this forest like an anchor. You’ve been weighing me down my whole life; mocking me with glimpses of what could have been. Just one more walk around the pond and it’s over. I retrace our steps where we’ve rebuilt empires over and over. I revisit, recite, rehearse, and relapse. I can’t help but collapse. The chords memory will swell, as my eyes begin to well. You’ve changed my mind so many times, but this time my mind is made up. Cross your fingers and your toes, read your horoscope and the tarot. Fuck your superstition and your empty promises. I’ve let them dictate my life for far too long. This can no longer go on. Where did I go wrong? How did it get this far? What I have I done to end up in this hell? Bramble, stones, and regret dig into your skin as a drag you through your sins.
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15. |
||||
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So here we are; our story has led up to this point. I can’t believe this whole mess that we have got ourselves into. Will you tell me what it’s like as you begin to pass on? Will you see a white light, will you be born again? Will you come back to haunt me in this life or the next? Perhaps we will meet again. Maybe things will be better then. Until that time comes, I need to close this chapter and burn the book. I must finish what I started, and forget about everything you took. I wrap this rope around your neck; I'll pull it tight but not too much. You start to scream as I lift you up. I hold you tight at the top of the fence and we both cry as we hold hands. I kiss you as I say goodbye and I see the acceptance in your eyes. I let you go just as you die – Don’t leave me.
I need you. Don’t need you. Just leave me.
Don’t need you. I need you. Don’t leave me.
I need you. Don’t need you. Just leave me.
Don’t need you. I need you. Don’t leave me.
I need you. Don’t need you. Just leave me.
Don’t need you. I need you. Don’t leave me.
I need you. Don’t need you. Just leave me.
It’s in my head. It’s always been in my head.
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